AT&T’s data network is down, and has been since early this morning. My iPhone is verrra verrra sad.

I’m wondering what announcement will come at MacWorld today that might have knocked the data network offline? MMS?!

*snort* Yeah right.

I’m not a passive aggressive assmunch - if you know me personally and you read this site and you read my prior entry, I’m absolutely not talking about you. Srsly. If I had a problem, I’d say so. The munchasses who bugged the crap out of me aren’t folks who read this page, nor are they actual friends. More like people I can’t avoid.

So I’m not pissed at you. I like you. 

It’s a shiny bright new year. I still do not give a flying shit about:

1. Brad Pitt
2. Angelina Jolie
3. Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie
4. Whether Guitar Hero takes children away from actual musical talent and accomplishment
5. Your opinion of my parenting
6. What you think about anything another parent who is not you or your spouse does that is not directly harming a child.
7. What you think of my car.
8. What you think of my job.
9. What you think of my schedule, my body, my priorities or my life.
10. What you think. Period.

Perhaps I have endured too many people over the holidays, but wow have I had it. I hereby pledge to, as much as possible, do the following:

1. Not judge people’s decisions unless I can ascertain direct harm.
2. Not presume to know someone’s motivation for doing something.

And now I’m going to go be by myself for awhile because I have had it with just about everyone. As you were. 

I have decided I don’t like college football for one specific reason: unless the defender gets there prematurely, he can pretty much rape the receiver, pick his nose and rifle through his wallet without getting a pass interference call against him if he arrives at the same time as the ball. That’s serious bullshit.

That is all.

More shopping? Of course more shopping! Should you be looking for a birthday gift or even a gift for yourself, here are some of the thing I lust after.

I know plenty of people who are totally into the statue of the Bird Girl from the cover of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, but this statue would gleefully be placed on my desk (along with 5000 other random bits of stuff I already have on it. She looks a little like the Bird Girl, come to think of it.

Warm water makes these vases sculptable into any shape you like, and then they fold flat for storage. Fresh flowers on the desk… for the cats to chew on!

This reminds me: it’s time to clean off my desk. 

I think there are three kinds of Facebook people.

The first type: people with whom you lost touch, who are now reachable solely via Facebook. This is cool because there’s pics of their kids and bits of news and you can reconnect in 10 words or less. No need
for mammoth email.

The second type: people you already know and interact with, and for whom Facebook is an accessory to an already normal friendship. Maybe you now know a lot more minutae but it’s a fun accessory.

The third type: people who are totally enamored of Facebook, so completely into it that they only interact through Facebook. Your friendship with them is now through status update and ‘lil green plants.
That third type is so effing annoying.

I’m in a rotisserie baseball league and have been for longer than I can count. Well, let me try. Um. 10 years?! JESUS CHRIST. I think it’s been since 1997.

I’m horrified. Ok, maybe 1998 but still. What is up with the time and the passing. Is the entire universe on Blog Time where a week is like a year and a half?!

Anyway, enough about my problems locating myself within an appropriately slow-moving space-time continuum.

Last night, Hubby came in second in one of his many fantasy leagues. This one was football, and he didn’t win. But it’s still awesome. Because Sean, who has been playing fantasy sports since the dawn of time, finally won a league. He was one of the original members of Hubby’s rotisserie league, and despite that many years, about fourteen thousand “Time out - gotta look him up” moments during auction drafts, countless different sports leagues, and a wide knowledge of random sports trivia, Sean has never won.

He now has a win. Way to go Sean!

Ok, after uploading that graphic and checking it on the site, I have to say: in that picture, Yogi Berra kind of looks like Sean. Now I’m freaked out. Sean has better teeth though.