Why is it folks make small talk with me by asking if I am “surviving,”
as if having two kids and one and three-quarters of a job plus a house
under reno is some kind of punishment? It’s tough sometimes but I
choose each and every part of it and love my life.

Which is what I said: “I am very happy, and I love my life.”

I am surrounded by CNN terminals and all of them combined do not give me papal enthusiasm. Instead I feel bad for the number of flowers that were cut to blanket the podium, and for any security dudes who have allergies.

I can board plane now? Thx.

Dear New York media:

You could not pay me to care about the papal visit to the US. Try to find some real news. Isn’t there a pregnant celebrity you could harrass instead?

Morag

Freebird thoughtfully asked if he could watch Baby Einstein this morning,
which is nice because Baba has been up since 6:30 and he needs a rest. There
is nothing more soothing than Baby Einstein, except maybe Baby Vicodin.

Anyway, I was asking Freebird about what we were watching, and I said, “Is
that bubbles, or is that goo?”

Hubby: “Bubbles or goo?!”

Morag: “That is a perfectly acceptable question to ask when one is watching
Baby Einstein.”

Things I bit my tongue before saying to the loudmouth on her cell phone on the bus:

Holy shit, lady. You’re louder than my iPod at full volume.

Can you lower your voice so I don’t hear the details?

Shut the fuck up.

Perhaps you do not realize how loud you are, but we just crossed from New York to New Jersey and people in both states can still hear you.

Omgwtfstfu.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Look Freebird! This is the city. This is where Mommy works!

Wait, I don’t mean I work here on 8th Avenue…

Oh never mind.

What do Jews eat on Christmas eve? Sirloin, green beans, and potatoes. And
wine. Yummmmm.