I have a headache. Why do I have a headache?

I have a headache because the dog has hernias. The dog has hernias that went along with a stricture in his assal parts, and now he’s on prednisone to make his assal region function better. His ass: functions great. But he’s also hungry enough to eat his own body weight three times a day and he’s thirsty.

So he’s hungry and thirsty and he drinks a lot of water. And he doesn’t necessarily tell me when he has to go out. So yesterday I came home after picking up Freebird at school, and found a trailing puddle of about eight gallons of pee in the dining room stretching from one corner of the room all the way into the foyer.

My floors are not level, btw.

I had to move the dining room table, put Baba in a swing, put Freebird in his eating chair, and start mopping up pee. I stood up and whapped my head so hard on the chandelier that I have a goose egg on the back of my head. It’s still there.

My head hurts. I’m cranky. I’m exhausted from a late night and an early morning with Baba. And Baba O’Riley won’t nap so I can’t nap, and that missing sleep is making me a lot less than human. I’m like were-mommy. Soon I’m going to grow a lot of hair all over my body and start chewing on the light fixtures.

At least then I won’t hit my head when it’s time to clean up the river of unending pee.

Harrumph. 

It’s list time! Because my brain, it hurts.

1. I have the ongoing estrogen headache in my left eye socket. I want it to go away.

2. I have to find birth control pills that will work for me. This is a big challenge because when I was on Jasmine, I got the estrogen headache every month when the hormone pills ended and the placebos began - only instead of the one I have now this headache is a million time worse. It’s so bad I can’t look at a computer screen or wear my glasses. And going through that every 3 weeks is not my idea of a good time.

Then I tried Mircette, which has a low dose of estrogen in the placebo. I bled constantly, without schedule and never had a period so much as I had an episode of CSI. So that didn’t work either.

But! Then I got pregnant and didn’t need to deal with the whole period thing for nearly a year. Ahhh. Thanks Baba.

But I have to be on a pill, and I have to find one that works, and it’s giving me fits, the research.

3. I think Logan is mostly blind, except that this morning I dropped one Grape Nut on the floor and he went flying across the room to eat it. So maybe he’s selectively blind. He sees food and not much else.

4. It’s a cool and dreary day, and I’m debating when to turn the heat on. Hubby will probably thank me to for leaving the a/c on, as we both hate it when its humid but he LOVES being cold. He can’t sleep unless Eskimos crawl out from under the bed and thank him for the hospitable environment. 

Freebird’s 2nd birthday party is coming up (and OMG when did time fly by such that I have an ALMOST TWO YEAR OLD OMGWTFBBQ?!) and I have to decide on food. We’re not hosting a big crowd - mostly family and a few toddlers for him to play with - but we’re busy, busy, exhausted people with an infant. Catering sounds very appealing.

But catered or managed by our capable hands, what would you serve? It’s from 2-4 pm so it’s going to be mostly snacks and such, but what would you serve? 

For the first time all season we have the Steelers on tv here. We’re so saturated with the Jets, Giants, Patriots, and what-the-hell-else we never get the Steelers on an average Sunday. We really only see them on Sunday night or Monday night.

So Hubby and I are parked on the sofa with homemade pizza, red wine, water, and computers. Eventually I’m hoping Hubby will mute the tv because the announcers are so freaking awful. But in the meantime:

1. Is there a makeup color known as “Madden Pink?” He is large, and very very pink. I’ve never seen makeup that shade of rose and I’m a girl. I may not wear much of it but I know from makeup. Is there a Bare Escentuals or Cover Girl Continuous Wear shade called “Madden” for very fair, rosy women?

2. Do you think these players ever get tired of introducing themselves by their university? I mean, some of them are older than me and Hubby and it’s not like he rolls up to people and says, “Sarah’s Hubby. Northwestern University.” If he did, he’d sound like a douchebag.

3. I’m hungry. Time for me to eat. 

I keep looking at this shirt and hurting myself laughing.

OW!

So I went. It wasn’t bad. I left before the doofy “ice breaker” game because it was doofy and I was tired. But I ate tapenade (YUM) and a brownie (not together) and met a few other moms. Some lived nearby and worked part time, and others were full-time at-home moms, and some were normal and some were… not.

Before I left, Hubby said, ‘Relax, have a good time, and don’t judge everyone too quickly.’ HA! Funniest yet most true thing he’s ever said to me. It’s not like I walk in and think, “Everyone is an asshole!” and leave. It’s more like I talk myself into thinking I won’t fit in and will absolutely not belong and had better leave now. And yes, there are times when I take one look and assess the hair-and-wardrobe ensemble of another woman and know that I won’t have much in common with her. Mostly because her clothing has no pet hair, no wrinkles, and looks itchy and dry-clean-only.

However, everyone there was dressed like I was - well, no one was hiding a month-post-partum belly like I was trying to do, but everyone was comfortable and casual, which is a nicer way to meet people. Initial get-to-know-you parties like that should take place with everyone in pajamas, really. Everyone would be very relaxed, if not a little self conscious.

Anyway, I ended up chatting with one woman whose daughter has a big monster food allergy and listening to her talk about how hard her initial months with her daughter were made me appreciate how hard it is to have babies, and how blessed we are. But mostly I remembered how hard it is sometimes when you think you’re the only one in the world at 3am so tired you hurt physically and the baby won’t stop crying no matter what you do - and you’re so sure you’re the only one awake and sad and tired and confused and alone. Then you find out you’re not alone. There’s a warm soothing balm in having another woman say to you, “Oh, I’ve been there, and it SUCKS.” You’re not alone, and you know it won’t be that way forever. “Me, too,” is a wonderful thing to hear sometimes. I think that’s the point of the whole group.

Unfortunately, it sounded as if the group on the whole was disorganized and didn’t meet too often - which could be a good thing for me - but I am thinking I’ll join. It’s not expensive, and if there’s not much that I’m interested in for the coming year, I can drop out.

I am glad I went, though - thanks for the encouragement, y’all.

And IL#2: These are Mom Jeans. 

Long pants (haven’t had legs waxed since I was a parent of one child)

Slides (ditto manicure/pedicure - I am due for grooming)

Loose blouse (one month post partum is Greek for ‘deflated water balloon abdomen)

Lipstick (that I can handle)

Blowdried hair with mousse (ditto)

Complete terror and aversion to large groups yet going anyway? Check.