I’m now a little over 32 weeks pregnant. In case you’re not familiar with pregnancy and the weekly status thereof, I’m about 7.5-8 months pregnant, depending on how you measure. I’m in the third trimester, I’m probably 6-8 weeks from delivering, and I’m as big as a barn.

I am carrying, as I did with Freebird, alllll out front, so from the back, you can’t really tell I’m pregnant. Then I swing the cruise ship around and HELLO, NURSE. I’m huge. The problem with being all out front is that I’m very unbalanced, and don’t have a lot of room for things like my internal organs, including my stomach and lungs. I tend to cough a lot because I’m short of breath.

The real fun starts when I try to do the dishes - my belly gets in the way so I’m too far away to reach the faucets, and I have to turn to the side and lean over to reach. This ultimately pulls at my back, which then starts to hurt - and I won’t even tell you how comical it is to see me try to reach the dishwasher.

I can’t see my feet, much less the dog if he’s right in front of my feet, which he always is, so I tend to stumble over Logan the Underfoot Dog, and anything else that’s on the floor in front of me, like a cat, the sofa, a table, my shoes, etc.

I am obsessive about my toes, however, since I can’t see them, and have a very nice pedicure. The next time I go get my toes painted, I’m going to beg the nice ladies to let me sit in the foot whirlpool for at least two hours because it’s the best part of the whole experience.

There’s other fun parts I’ve started to re-enjoy and remember from my pregnancy with Freebird, like the part where I have to do yoga and stand on my head to fully empty my bladder, or the part where I take four bites of dinner and feel like I ate the whole buffet in one sitting, only to be hungry ten minutes later.

But the very best part is the email I get reminding me how many weeks I am, and how much FUN STUFF will start happening. The last one I got was the biggest downer, and I nearly unsubscribed from the darn thing altogether. My blood volume will start to increase AGAIN to prepare for birth and the accompanying blood loss, so I need to make sure I drink plenty of fluids (duh). BUT all that blood will pool in my extremities when I rest, so if I stand up quickly, I have even more of a chance of seeing starts, getting light headed, and passing out. FUN! Heartburn and indigestion will increase, due to the increased pressure on my organs from the ever-growing fetus, whose job between now and birth is to pack on the weight as fast as possible, at a rate of up to a pound a week for me, with half of that for the fetus.

Ironically, I remember clearly that after Freebird was born - and he was a week and a day late so I was plenty huge when I delivered - I really missed having him with me in utero. For so long I’d had this spinning little being in my belly, hanging out with me all the time, and when I was in the hospital bed by myself for the first time in months, I missed him. Even though I’m wicked uncomfortable and tired and, as I said, as big as a freaking barn, I’m going to miss the amazing parts of being pregnant. 

Suddenly I have a very full calendar - lots of appointments in the evening - and a big behemoth appointment on Sunday.

Freebird, Hubby and I, we are getting ready to WIGGLE. Yup, we’re taking the Bird, and my MIL who hasn’t ever seen the Wiggles and won’t know what’s going on at all, to see the Wiggles on Sunday, and it’s going to be a very very interesting experience. Freebird is just at the age that he can recognize and name the different characters, and he gets very VERY into the music when we turn on an episode, so I’m imagining that his eyes will pop out of his head when he realizes the Wiggles are IN the ROOM with him.

This might be the only thing to get me past my complete aversion to concerts, because Hubby and I are both excited to take him to the show. Loudness? Crowds? A lot of people in that crowd? And loudness? Meh - it’s the Wiggles! 

Which of the following is the most annoying song to have stuck in your head:

1. “Shake your hips with Wags the Dog” - The Wiggles
2. “Free Credit Report.com!” - Insipid Commercial for Same
3. “It’s a Small World After All” - Disney
4. “Fruit Salad, Yummy Yummy” - The Wiggles

I’ve been dealing with the first song for hours now, but if I try to move it aside in favor of another song, the “Free Credit Report.com” song pops in, and I want to run screaming. This is agonizing. 

Ok, so everyone in the world is reading Harry Potter. You know how when the Super Bowl or some other manfully manly sporting event is on, like a big tournament or something, there’s always something ELSE on some other channel that’s totally aimed at People Who Aren’t Watching The Sports? Usually it’s some schmaltzy movie or ice skating or something, but there’s always something else on?

I need that something else. I’m rather bored at the moment. Urg. Better go find my own book to read. 

Hubby’s Book 7 has arrived on the porch, we’ve exhausted the toddler on the beach, and now I’m home on Nap Patrol while Hubby goes to sit on the sand and read his HP7: Thank the Good Lord the Hype Is Almost Over.

Part of the deal for my going to Dallas last weekend (hometown of many people who can survive epic OMG incredible heat) was that this weekend I give him ample time to read his book. So I sent him to the beach where he wouldn’t be tempted to install a DVD player or hang something on the wall or whatever else random crap needs to be done. He’s baking, I’m sitting in the shade with a nearby bathroom and ample ice water to drink - it’s totally a fair trade.

Plus I sent Hubby with pb & j and cookies, so he’ll be awhile. He’s got 700+ pages to read after all.

As for me, I had read what was allegedly a spoiler online that consisted of digital images of the epilogue. What I read totally matches the epilogue in print. So I know how the story ends, and that is enough for me. 

I bought an Excalibur 4GB drive from Woot. I think it was $20 or $30. It just BROKE and I can’t access ANYTHING on it. I am So Pissed Off it’s breathtaking. Holy crap I’m mad.

And the worst part is, I can tell why it broke, and it’s a huge design flaw.

No, that’s not the worst part. The worst part is I can’t find a manufacturer website so as to write and ask for repair or help.

Many, many curse words are being uttered under my breath. 

I’m hot.

Now I’m cold.

Now I’m too warm.

Now I’m freezing.

Now it’s roasting in there.

And I’m officially tired of this. Either the A/C isn’t working or I’m going through some kind of weird tempy hormone thing. Either way, it’s bothersome. Can we play a different game now?