Yeah it’s been a month. Home leave was awesome.

1. Baba: “Draw M!”
Freebird: “Ok.”
Baba: “DRAW W!”
Freebird: “Ok.”
Baba: “DRAW M AGAIN!”
Freebird: “I can’t deal with this.”

2. Freebird, Baba and I went to a free concert in NYC this past weekend. Not only did Freebird rock out but he came down to the dance floor area in front of the stage and air-guitared for over an hour. He was SO into it. I guess it’s music lesson time. 

Saturday was a quiet day because Freebird had a fever. But Sunday, despite being 90 and hot, was awesome. Hubby had to go get some furniture out of the beach house, so while he rented a truck and did that, I took the dudes to the Skylands Music Festival, which was very small and VERY hot, but very awesome. Freebird looked at all the instruments (key quote of the morning: “MOMMY LOOK! A BANJO!") and listened and danced to the bluegrass, and Baba followed his brother everywhere, until he got so hot he told me he wanted to go home.

I was honestly a little worried about Baba, as he was red-faced and sweaty, so we left after a little over an hour, but I know Freebird could have stayed and listened to the music for hours. He was so happy. I have to look for music festivals in the area so he can go enjoy them with me. Nice that he likes bluegrass, too. Heh.

We stopped for Happy Meals, which means my car now officially smells like McDonald’s, and then, while Baba power napped, Freebird colored on the patio and then went to the pool for 2+ hours with Hubby. I woke Baba up later and met them there, and by the end of the day they were both so tired, they passed. Out. Which is AWESOME when there’s pizza and wine and tv for Hubby and me.

I love Sundays like that. 

Baba: 103F. However, partying like it’s 1999 and he’s Prince.

Freebird: Drawing animals that LOOK like the animals. I did some drawing with his 494,577,454 crayons and we had a good old time. I can’t wait to go to camp this month with him. Note to self: draw more with Freebird.

Hubby: home with Baba. Poor guy.

Me: Tired.

Happy Monday!

Last night we went to the pool after dinner. Freebird swam all the way to other end of the pool by himself with his floater wings on - and Baba jumped in the water with his wings on.

Watching them swim is awesome. Makes me stupid happy.

Today at 5pm, we have an appointment (confirmed by the vet’s automated service last night) to put Logan to sleep. Last Monday night he woke up and staggered around our bedroom confused and panting. He got lost behind chairs. He fell down and couldn’t get up. So we put him in his crate where he’d be safe.

The next night, he had a grand mal seizure. So we took him to the vet, and they did a full round of tests. We were hoping for Cushing’s disease which, while awful, would be treatable. Addison’s, too, would have been fine. But the results for Logan’s cortisone levels were normal: he’s just old, and declining rapidly.

So we made the appointment for today, and last night he had another seizure. This one lasted 4 minutes, and it was followed by more of them this morning. If I could go home now and take him to the vet, I would. I feel awful delaying a day.

But the worst is telling Freebird. We read a book about heaven and angels and how they take care of all the souls in the Treasury of Souls, and that heaven is a beautiful place with all your favorite things. We said that Logan was old and sick and going to heaven, and that he wouldn’t be with us anymore. We could think about him, and he would be with us in our minds.

One of Freebird’s other books has illustrations that include a small white dog like Logan, and it’s all about making art on the beach. So we looked at those pictures and I thought, maybe heaven is like a beach. I’d like that, personally.

Saying goodbye this afternoon will be so hard. But after seeing him panting and seizing, it’s time. As I said on Twitter, in the words of the theologians The Pussycat Dolls, I hate this part right here.

Me: “Baba, that’s a massive poop in your diaper.”

Baba: “WIENER!”

Me: “Yes, that’s your wiener.”

Baba: “IT’S A PENIS!”

Me: “Yup, that’s your penis.”

Baba: “SCHLOOOOONNNNNGG!”

Me: “HUBBY?!!”

We went to the beach yesterday for the day. For more than two hours, Hubby and I did nothing. I didn’t even bring my phone. No email, no Twitter, no nothing. Just playing in the sand and watching Freebird and Baba O’Riley fill buckets with water and play on the beach.

It was like having something inside my stomach slowly unwind and relax. So perfect. I have to remind myself that a day trip is easy, it’s only an hour away, and we can in fact travel light. Well, light-ish.

I love the beach.